Tag Archives: relationships

How Ryan Gosling and Lifehouse Songs Have Ruined My Life

WARNING: This blog contains serious bitterness regarding love. If you are recently betrothed or awaiting a wedding day, I advise you go back to doodling “Mrs. ______” on your notebook, before you go f*** yourself. At some point in every … Continue reading

Posted in All about men, Distorted views on love, Life lessons | Tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Top Five Most Common Lies Women Tell Themselves, as told by Me – A Woman

It is a scientific fact that every 3.2 seconds, some woman, somewhere, is lying about something.* I know this sounds like a line lifted from the personal journal of some whiny man child who dots his “i’s” with teardrops, but … Continue reading

Posted in Fat Fatties talking about Fat, Life lessons | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Reason #49 why I will always be alone: No man in his 20’s can satisfy my facial hair needs.

So apparently, Panera Bread attracts a large population of well-bearded men. All but one of the five men in my line of sight have beautiful, manly, tuggable beards that I want to play with until the wee hours of dawn. … Continue reading

Posted in All about men, Distorted views on love | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

Six Characteristics of My Future Ex-Husband

At 22 years old with one ex husband and several appalling attempts at romance under my love handles, I have decided my pursuits for happiness need to be better focused. For that reason I have concocted a list of the … Continue reading

Posted in All about men, Bob Dylan Related Ramblings, Distorted views on love | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

People who celebrate Father’s Day and People who are ungrateful tools

I am a woman of few pet peeves. Though I may grow a stomach ulcer whenever anyone uses the word ignorant, ignorantly (boo-ya bitches) and dry heave whenever an adult woman complains that she is cold in 85 degree weather, … Continue reading

Posted in Two Sorts of People in the World | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment