Constantly intimidating others with my beauty, I pass the time by fanning myself, giggling, and eating cocoa dusted almonds. I blog for the constant reassurance that I am better than people who don’t own computers.
The combination of my debilitating arrogance and crippling self hatred has resulted in years of wearing SPF 70, cutting my hair with an X-Acto knife, and this haiku:
I’m the proud owner of manic tears that taste like bubblegum toothpaste
The girl who needs a real job