The Girl

Constantly intimidating others with my beauty, I pass the time by fanning myself, giggling, and eating cocoa dusted almonds. I blog for the constant reassurance that I am better than people who don’t own computers.

The combination of my debilitating arrogance and crippling self hatred has resulted in years of wearing SPF 70, cutting my hair with an X-Acto knife, and this haiku:

I’m the proud owner                                                                                                                           of manic tears that taste like                                                                                              bubblegum toothpaste

Love,

The girl who needs a real job

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